to dip or to dive: starting over after too long away

I had every good intention to write 1,000 words a day for two months, but I had so many stresses in my life at the time I made the promise to myself that I decided to put that pledge on hold. Yesterday, I picked “Tiny Shadows” back up. After exporting what little I’ve written to my Kindle, I noticed the first back-up date of the file was nearly a year ago. A year! I think a year is far too long to work on a book, at least a standard-length book. I think a book can and should be written in a much shorter time than a year; any longer than that and the idea starts to become stale. The editing and everything else may certainly push it well past the year mark, but a year is just too long to be dawdling around starting the thing.

Then I started reading the thing, and it’s horrific.

This, I think, is why it’s so hard for anyone to actually write a book. It takes so long to get the words out, and then the words aren’t right, and editing—let’s not even get started on editing.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t experiencing a little self doubt right now.

Can I do this? I’ve written eight other books, but six of them were NaNoWriMo projects, which of course automatically disqualifies them from being taken seriously (they’re too short and they need a lot of TLC). The other two were written in high school, and over half of one those was wiped out from my parents’ computer (I’m assuming Dad saw a file called “Two Years Til Eternity” and assumed he had mistakenly downloaded some bad porn).

I really want to do this. And I’m past all the things that were holding me up—school, moving, a demanding toddler. Okay, the demanding toddler is still around, but she’s gotten to the point where she can at least keep herself fairly well entertained. So where do I start? Do I start all over? Do I do a little more mind mapping, a little more background, until I get the feel for it again—or do I dive right in?

I think my heart was in the right place with the 1,000 words a day, but I also took a detour when I realized my prologue was turning into a Part One. Perhaps a week or so of getting serious, pulling my characters together, re-thinking my starting point, and then back to the grind. A thousand words a day. And no editing yet; I just need to put words on paper! (How many of you think that is actually going to happen?)

August 15. I’m kicking it back into high gear on August 15.

I can do this…right?